Mike Holness

In a previous incarnation, Mike was assassinated by a gang of music-snobs for being too much like Chesney Hawkes. Yet despite having relived his entire life, he hasn’t learned his lesson and still takes on the cheesier end of his vocal duties with a child-like audacity. Aside from singing, he brings his boyish good looks to the stage along with some questionable dance moves and his favourite teddy bear, “Tristram”, without whom he won’t leave home. When he’s not singing, he’s often found in supermarkets moving pot noodles to the toiletries aisle.

Jonathan Hargreaves

Jon’s gene line can be directly traced back to bears, hence his predisposition for uprooting saplings and concussing salmon. He plays the bass in the AudioPimps as it is the only instrument chunky enough for him to get his paws round. During daylight hours he is a research and teaching fellow in the Acoustics centre at the University of Salford.

Andrew Jones

Andy is an anthropological armadillo; he has a very grown up job that involves wearing a suit and looking dour, yet this shelters a fun-loving and child-like interior. He suffers hypnotic trances brought on by proximity to the gyrating bodies of the dance-floor, hence keeps a safe distance behind his drum kit. He just loves to play and has been known to collude in performances of tunes by Anastasia and other unmentionables.

Dave Trott

Dave is a compulsive liar. He approached us in the guise of a nose flautist but thankfully we saw through to his true ability as a guitarist of considerable flair. He was once brainwashed by musical instrument manufacturing giant Roland and, despite years of counselling, still unpredictably lapses into bouts of unequivocal praise of their product portfolio. Dave runs his own music school and won’t reveal the chords to anything without a fee.

Paul Kendrick

Paul’s previous career was based around the manufacture of mittens for Llamas. However when his shop in Cleethorpes proved not to be wholly profitable, he sought another non-Llama-mitten (non-Llitten) related activity. Then one day while walking in the woods he stumbled across the Audiopimps gathering acorns to hide in hollow logs and asked if he could join them. Now a fully fledged member of the Pimp crew Paul counts among his skills as; playing guitar and having hair.